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I have been meaning to blog about Loretha Weisinger for about a year now, but I could never quite put into words the way I feel about her, the work she does with poor teenage mothers in Chicago, and the excellent documentary about her, Black Family: A Doula Story. There just really aren't words to express the depth of the love Loretha has for these young women who often have no one else in their lives who even care about them and their unborn children, let alone love them.
Loretha herself was a statistic, a poor, single teenage mother, who remembers contemplating suicide after the birth of her child at 16 because she desperately needed help and couldn't find any. She provides the help for these girls that was missing from her own life. In addition to doula services, Loretha nurtures the girls throughout their pregnancies, teaching them about healthy eating, how to care for and love a baby, breastfeeding and how to manage their pain during labor. All of this is provided for free, and Loretha even provides postpartum support up to 12 weeks and even longer if the girls still need it because she doesn't want to leave them without a support system.
One of the reasons that I think breastfeeding is so important for black moms is that research has shown that moms who breastfeed are less likely to abuse their children and breastfeeding naturally lends itself to a more nurturing parenting style. I feel like I see a lot of black parents who are big on discipline but not necessarily loving touch. I really believe that a lot of the violence problems in our community start in the home, with child-rearing techniques that rely too heavily on corporal punishment. In the documentary, Loretha talks about how the girls she cares for have never been parented in a loving and nurturing way, so how can they pass that on to their babies if they've never felt it before? She says:
I’ll ask them, ‘Is it OK if I hug you’? and I’ll say 'See how that felt? I’m hugging you, not to get nothing from you, but just to have the feeling…to bring you where I am.'"More than how to give birth, Loretha is teaching these young girls how to love. She talks to them about the importance of breastfeeding, reading to their babies, playing classical music for their babies. She tells them how when the baby cries, you need to pick her up because you need to show her you love her and that you're going to take care of her. For so many who've never known love, Loretha is the shining example of what it means to love unconditionally.
I'm pleased to present a post today in honor of the Happy Black Girl Day 2: Happier and Blacker. HBGD was created by Sista Toldja of The Beautiful Struggler, whom I fell in love with after her post on why black women weren't exactly thrilled with the choice of Reggie Bush as Essence Magazine's "love issue" cover model. But enough about the stuff that pisses us off, Happy Black Girl Day is about celebrating everything that is wonderful about being a black girl.
So today I am celebrating some of my favorite black girls who understand the importance of birth autonomy, breastfeeding and natural parenting. Here are my Top 5.
#1. Phylicia Rashad- Yes, the original black Super Mom is a breastfeeding mom in real life. Not to be outdone by the character she played for years, Phylicia is a phenom who is not only still acting but also recently narrated "Bringin' in da Spirit," a documentary about the history of black midwives in America. She hosted a DVD that provided breastfeeding information for parents-to-be called "Your Healthy Baby." On Mother's Day she appeared on the Al Sharpton radio show to discuss maternal health and stressed the importance of food as medicine and the importance of motherhood.
#2. Lisa Bonet- OK, so she's a little nuts (I mean, Lilakoi Moon? Really?) but she's in a relationship with the super hot Jason Momoa and has ridiculously gorgeous kids. She's also a self-proclaimed "hippie at heart" who gave birth at home and breastfed all her babies.
#3. Deborah Cox- The platinum-selling singer is a mom of three breastfed babies. Deborah says she is "a big believer in breastfeeding" because "at the end of the day, you have healthier kids." So true!
#4. Halle Berry- The most beautiful mom on the planet breastfed her daughter and praised Larrivo nursing bras for making breastfeeding "sexy." She's also a co-sleeping mama: baby Nahla slept in an Arms Reach co-sleeper.
#5. Tonya Lewis-Lee- Spike Lee's wife Tonya is the executive producer of the film "Crisis in the Crib," a documentary about the high infant mortality rate in the black community. She is working with the department of Health & Human Services to promote breastfeeding and was the face of the "A Healthy Baby Begins With You" campaign. Tonya was breastfed herself until she was two and plans on nursing her own daughter just as long.
Want to read the other Happy Black Girl Day posts? Check them out here (will be updated throughout the day).
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Did you catch last night's episode of The Office? Before it started, I tweeted my prediction for lots of breastfeeding jokes and they didn't disappoint! Pam and Jim had their baby girl and like many new moms, Pam had some trouble getting the baby to latch. Every time she tried to ask her nurse for help with breastfeeding, the nurse offered to take the baby to the nursery and give it a bottle. So frustrating, but unfortunately, that seems to be a universal experience amongst moms who gave birth in the hospital.
I loved that the lactation consultant in the hospital was male and that Pam accidentally breastfed her roommate's baby (wonder if she'll sue the hospital?) The only part I didn't like was Pam wearing that damn nursing cover all the time, even when in the hospital bed (does anyone really do this?). In the last scene she is struggling to get the baby to latch on while Jim has gone to install the carseat and I was hoping she would snatch the cover off and that would make the baby latch on properly, but alas it didn't go down that way. Oh, well, you can't have everything, right?
My next prediction? Pam is back to work and pumping, Michael "accidentally" walks in on her and hilarity ensues.
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I swear, I was never a fan of the Kardashians, but I am quickly falling in love with Kourtney. The new mom was calm, cool and collected during the recent birth of her son Mason (she even caught the baby herself!) and has been extolling the virtues of breastfeeding online. She has talked about tasting her own breast milk on Twitter and now we get this choice quote in the latest Us Weekly:
"If I have to feed him, I just whip it out. If I'm doing it in public and someone doesn't like it — don't look. I don't give a shit."
I've got a fabulous giveaway for a Simplisse manual breast pump and breastfeeding accessories over at Blacktating Reviews. The total prize is worth over $100! Go enter now.
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